Musings

Today is my birthday.  It is also election day.  I was born on election day-a Presidential election day.  The president elected that November 4th was Dwight D. Eisenhower.  People told my mom they should name me Mamie.  I'm very glad she didn't follow their advice!

Because it is my birthday, I am going to muse a bit about some of the things that have happened in my life during this last year.  Many people have heard the verses from Ecclesiastes that reflect on events that happen in everyone's lives.(if you are my age, it was a popular Simon and Garfunkel song!)

There is a time for everything and a season for every activity under heaven.

a time to be born and a time to die,

a time to plant and a time to uproot,

a time to kill and a time to heal, 

a time to tear down and a time to build, 

a time to weep and a time to laugh,

a time to mourn and a time to dance

a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, 

a time to embrace and a time to refrain,

a time to search and a time to give up,

a time to keep and a time to throw away ,

a time to tear and a time to mend,

a time to be silent and a time to speak,

a time to love and a time to hate,

a time for war and a time for peace.

A time for everything...What I've noticed in my life is that I resist whatever "time" I am going through.  I don't want to go through those times of

uprooting, tearing down, weeping, mourning, or giving up. But I as I read this, I realized that those seemingly bad and sad times were a big part of my life last year.

"A time to mourn" and "a time to cry" were major players this last year and they still are.  It's now been 11 months since Branch was born and I had the blessing of knowing him for seven short days.  The effect of him on my life has been profound.  The hole in my heart is still there. I think it always will be.  October 15 was Infant Loss Remembrance Day. Kristin asked me to light a candle to remember Branch.  It was an honor to do so. 

"A time to tear down" was also a part of last year, as the school I had worked at for six years had to close due to lack of enrollment.  The grounds were beautiful, so I loved going there, but the people I became friends with were even more beautiful.  It's been very hard to go to work every day and not be with those who have come to know and love me, who held me up with such prayer and strength during the months leading up to and after the birth of Branch.  

"A time to search"-so in losing one job, it was time to search for another. Here I was, in the midst of mourning both my grandson and my job, having a pretty tough time even wanting to make myself look good so that I could get another job.   I think I sent out 15-20 resumes, had at least 10 interviews, and finally, thankfully another job offer. It seemed to take forever, but now I find that it is...

"A time to build".  It seems tougher to do as you get older, but I believe the building part of life helps keep me fresh and dependent on God.   There is a huge learning curve in any new job. Slowly but surely I am making sense of new policies, procedures and curriculum.   But I have a sweet class, another beautiful campus to work on and am building new relationships with great people.
What will happen this year? No one knows, right?

Times of mourning, weeping, tearing down, throwing away are a part of the life that must be lived in a fallen world.  But since I know those times are inevitable, I want to focus on all the opportunities to love, to embrace, to speak, to be silent, to plant, to laugh and to heal. As they say, we are all given the same 24 hours each day to live.  I pray God gives me wisdom and grace to use the gift of time wisely.